What is Relational Dharma?

What do I mean by relational dharma?

A relational dharma (or teachings) recognizes that our life unfolds within relationship—relationship with family, friends, colleagues, community, the world. For most of us, our relationships are where the rubber meets the road. Practice on our cushions can seem quite peaceful, and then we get off our cushions and into the relationships of our lives!

A relational dharma embraces relationship as a vital place for practice. A place where our conditioning is revealed and we learn and grow from all the bumps and the rubs along the way.

Enlightenment is the recognition that, on the most absolute level, there is no relationship. In other words, enlightenment is the collapse of the perception of relationship. It’s the collapse of subject versus object–the collapse of the distinction that I (subject) am separate from you (object). It is the dissolution of the belief that who you are, fundamentally, is separate from anyone or anything else.

On the relative plane in which our lives are unfolding within the various relationships we maintain, when the subject/object perception collapses, the unity of being shines brightly through all our relationships. It is then that being (or pure consciousness, or awareness) itself begins to shine through everything. Our relative plane relationships with friends, coworkers, family, community members, even strangers, transform. When we relate to each other while seeped in the way in which there is no ‘other,’ no subject nor object, not only do our personal lives change, new possibilities emerge for collective transformation as well.

A ‘relational dharma’ is a dharma that supports us in realizing this no-other-ness. These teachings use relationship to help us directly experience that, ultimately, there is no relationship. On the most fundamental level, our shared being is simply appearing in different forms, creating the perception that we are separate. A life lived from this understanding is an awakened life.

“I appreciate how subtle and intentional Caverly is in realizing the concepts she teaches in relational group work -- something that usually would give me pause but which I actually found quite meaningful.”

- A quote from Emily, writer and filmmaker

Dear Friends,

Today I am thrilled to announce that The Heart of Who We Are: realizing freedom together is now available.

Truthfully, it all feels a bit surreal y’all. It’s wild to think that something that has felt so intimate, so close to my heart that it can’t be teased from my heart, is about to be in print—15,000 times over!

This book was such a tremendous journey for me and there were three stickies that were on my wall for 2 years as I toiled, flamed with inspiration, wept, inhaled, exhaled, sang.

1. This book is on horticultural time. (I learned really early on that I couldn’t rush it. Barry Boyce offered me this torch-like wisdom.)

2. Your only job is to love and to let this book pour through this Love. (Something that I found deeply relieving, regularly.)

A Prayer for the Book:

Please Lord,
Let this book be a hymn.
Let it sing with Truth
And uplift all that is holy
Which is the heart of everything.

May it be so.

I hope you will experience The Heart of Who We Are as a unique invitation to the journey of realizing freedom together. I'm particularly delighted to share with you, and humbled by, the collective voices of support for this work. Touching words from many of the people who have influenced this book. The page also reflects some upcoming opportunities to practice through related workshops and retreats.

I’m also thrilled to announce the vision of a Heart of Who We Are book collective (think global book club community) so you can share your path of realizing freedom together with others aspiring to do the same.

So please check it out friends. As you do, please hear my voice. It is quietly saying:

“Welcome. I am so very glad you are here.”

In Peace,
Caverly

Reflection

Saying YES 

I’ve just returned from a week-long New Years Retreat with Presence Collective. It was a profound week in which folks from all different walks of life joined me and jylani ma’at  to release into Rest, Restoration, and Renewal. I especially appreciated how many various pathways to truth were honored. During the retreat, these words arose:

There is no wrong way

to truth.

There is only 

one celebration after another. 

Love overflowing with itself.

Singing yes, outpouring yes, 

exclaiming YES 

to all of it.

Yes to every expression 

of divine possibility – 

divine Love rushing 

through the cells 

of every body 

every heart.

Saying yes to diverse pathways of remembrance – doorways to the knowing of our true nature – provides us with new language to articulate the deepest universal truths. Perennial truths. Saying yes to life can allow us to be freed from the conditioned loop of seeking and resisting. It can spark remembrance of what’s most fundamental: awareness itself. 

Where in your life might you more fully release into the practice of yes? And what needs to be let go of to allow that to be possible?